Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A Complaint

Today we got a complaint from one of the men who attended our event on Monday.  My boss gave me permission to post the email correspondence between them:

HELLO MY NAME IS M. AS A FIRST TIME SPEEDDATER I ATTENDED YOUR ASIAN PERSUATION EVENT 12/3/12 I WAS SURPRISED NOBODY FROM (SPEED DATING COMPANY) ASKED ME IF I ENJOYED THE EVENT NEEDLESS, TO SAY I WAS DISAPOINTED FIRST I WAS TOLD BY (SPEED DATING COMPANY)TO BE AT THE EVENT 15 MINUTES EARLY BUT, THE EVENT STARTED ABOUT 1 HOUR LATE THEN, THERE WAS ONLY 13 WOMEN AND LIKE 16 MEN ALSO THIS EVENT WAS FOR PEOPLE 25-42 BUT ALOT OF THE WOMEN SEEM TO BE IN THEIR 50'S BEING THEY WERE ALL WRINKLED UP AND VERY OLD LOOKING ONLY 6 OUT OF THE 13 WOMEN APPEARED YOUNG FROM A RATING OF 1 T0 10 I WOULD GIVE THIS EVENT A 4
 
When she received the email my boss checked with me to see if I remembered the guy.  I did because that night I sat with all of the guys on one of their breaks since there were 2 more men than women.  This event did start late.  All of them do and I make sure to tell all of our daters when they arrive that we will probably start late.  However it was only about 25 minutes late, not an hour as he claimed.  We had a number of women who texted to say they were running late and I didn't want to start without them.  I told my boss that this guy seemed a little strange.  He didn't seem to be making much of an effort with his appearance (which included slicked back, greasy hair) and socially he was awkward.  I asked him if he had ever been speed dating before and he told me he hadn't.  I then asked him how it was going and he told me that he would have to wait to answer that question until after he saw who he matched with.  I told him about our New Years Eve party and other events that he had, but he told me that he wasn't really into the club scene and that's why he decided to try speed dating.  At the end of the night he darted out of the event as soon as it was over.

Based on that information, she responded to him:

M,
 
I appreciate your feedback. Asking people to show up 10-15 minute early is standard practice in the singles business with hopes that people will actually be on time. Unfortunately, that very rarely happens and is obviously beyond anyone's control. We're definitely not going to start an event on time if we're missing the majority of people. And if you go to any singles event this is more often than not, par for the course.

As for the age range of the women in attendance, I just did a quick once-over and the female attendees registered for the event were in their 20's/30's with one woman that was 40. There were definitely not women in their 50's.

We guarantee a minimum of 10 dates per event. With 13 women and 16 men (very rarely do you have an exact number of men and women) that would be considered a good turn-out.

This is actually the first email I've received from someone that was unhappy with the event. I've received 3 emails right after the event of 2 men and one woman that wanted to share how pleased they were with the event.

I went ahead and looked to see how many matches the women in attendance had, since based on your assessment of them being "wrinkled up and old" I would expect to see very few men selecting women from the event as a match. On the contrary, EVERY single woman in attendance had between 3-13 men select her as a match.

I see you selected L, K, J, A, J, K, T, L, W, N, and L as matches. That's 11 women you selected out of 13 in attendance. Interesting you would select almost 100% of the women in attendance as a match and rate the event a "4".
 
I also see that none of the women in attendance selected you as a match.

Based on this statistical assessment, my advice or response to your email would be the following. Perhaps you should check out our "Tough Love" Speed Dating event where if someone doesn't select you as a match you get to know the reason why.

I would also suggest trying a different company as if you're not happy with our service after selecting 11 out of 13 women as matches, you'll never be satisfied with our events.

Lastly, I would strongly suggest that any correspondence you send to any women you're looking to date in the on-line world not be in ALL CAPS.
 
Good luck,

A

Co-Founder


Decoding Dating Profiles: The Top 10 Guys You Want To Avoid


3. CAPITAL OFFENSE
ANY GUY THAT WRITES HIS ENTIRE PROFILE IN ALL CAPS SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS. I.E. "I`M JUST YOUR EVERY DAY PEOPLE AND WOULD LIKE TO MEET SOMEONE SEXY, AND DOWN TO EARTH." UH, CAPITAL "NO." IT'S AS IF THEY'RE OVER-COMPENSATING WITH LARGE FONT FOR THEIR SMALL INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY.


To which he responded:


A FEMALE DID SELECT ME AS A MATCH A J I DID NOT SELECT HER AS A MATCH I ALSO SEEN OTHER GUYS ON THE INTERNET COMPLAINING ABOUT SPEEDDATING COMPANIES AND WONDER IF SOME OF THE FEMALES ARE PAIDED MODELS WHO WORK TO KEEP GETTING GUYS TO PAY FOR DATING SERVICES THERE HAVE BEEN OTHER DATING COMPANIES WHO ALSO DO THIS SUCH AS MATCH

I DO NOT HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH SPEEDDATING AND DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE LIE ABOUT THERE AGE OR IF FEMALES ON THESE EVENTS ARE EVEN SERIOUS ABOUT DATING BUT HAVE MET MANY WOMEN ON TELEPHONE CHATLINES WHO WERE SERIOUS ABOUT MEETING AND DATING I JUST DID THIS SPEEDDATING AS A FIRST TIME TRY OUT I DID SELECT 11 0UT OF 13 FEMALES BECAUSE SINCE I ALREADY PAIDED AND ATTEND THIS EVENT I FELT EVEN IF I WOULD BE FRIENDS WITH THEM WITH OUT DATING THEM 
 
So were the women we had old and wrinkled or were they models?  
 
Ultimately, I feel bad for the guy.  Clearly the event didn't go as he hoped it would, but I think he needs to look more at himself instead of trying to blame us or the entire singles industry for his lack of success in the dating world.
 

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The Stealth Sign Up

Last night I hosted Asian Persuasion speed dating.  It was a great event.  This is one of our most popular events.  There were two more men than women, so the guys had 2 breaks during the night.  I chatted with each of them, of course telling them that I wouldn't be offended if they didn't want to chat.  One of the most interesting conversations was with a guy named S.  It turns out that his friend, who was also there, signed him up for the event and didn't tell him until the night before.  His friend was sure that S would never have signed himself up for it and if he had gotten any more warning that he would have backed out.  By the time he got to me he had about half of the dates under his belt and was having a great time.  We chatted about being out of your comfort zone and doing things that you wouldn't normally do.  I made him promise that if he ended up hitting it off with someone that he would email us his success story.  So, how would you feel if your friend signed you up for something (speed dating or something else) without telling you? 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The flake is a jerk

If you haven't yet, read this post first:  Flakiness is not attractive...unless you are a croissant

So this morning I got these 3 texts:

Hey there.  I’m S, B’s gf.  Just curious why you’re texting my guy to meet?  Thanks.

You’re prob unaware of me.  I’m texting all the girls found on his phone including the 22 year old, the sisters he asked for a 3some (or was that you? Sister lives in jersey city too?), plus many others.  Also, he has genital warts.  Be careful!

Oh and he was on the phone with me when he cancelled on you.  I have the texts he sent you too.  Nice home wrecking.

I think this is hysterical.  In all my years of dating, I’m pleasantly surprised that this is the first time that something like this has happened to me. 

I wanted to reply with this:

Dear S,  I’m sorry that your boyfriend is a douchebag.  But maybe instead of calling me a home wrecker, you should ask your boyfriend why he is going to speed dating, because that is where I met him.  He is clearly stepping out on you.  If you don’t have enough self respect to dump him, then you deserve all of the misery you are getting and will continue to get.  Oh, and good luck with the genital warts, since I’m assuming he’s probably given them to you by now.

I am not going to respond though, because I feel like this woman clearly has enough problems and I didn’t do anything wrong.  The higher road is always the better one to take and I'll just consider the whole episode with him a dodged bullet.


 

Monday, November 19, 2012

Flakiness is not attractive...unless you are a croissant

Last week at 30 something speed dating I was pretty happy with the turnout of guys.  So while I didn’t participate in speed dating I did get to talk all of them because there were 2 more men than women.  So even though I didn’t date, I added my name to the event participants so that if any were interested in me they could pick me, as I often do when there are a number of good men.  I was very happy when I got an email the next day that someone, B, had chosen me.  He is 38, 6 feet tall and from Ireland so he has a lovely accent.  I emailed him with my phone number and a the next day he texted me.  We made plans to meet for a drink this past Sunday at 4pm.  Since he was coming from Jersey City and I from the Bronx, we decided to meet near the Path train at 33rd street.  I left my apartment at 3 and was on the subway around 3:10.  My train is above ground for 4 stops after mine, so I went underground around 3:17.  Imagine my surprise when I came out of the subway at 3:47 to get a text from B saying that he wasn’t going to be able to meet me.  I replied back that it would have been nice to get a little more advance notice since I just wasted 45 minutes getting there only to have to turn around and go home.  He then texted back that he was stuck on the phone with home. I was pissed.  It was so inconsiderate.  Assuming he texted me right after I went underground, at best he only cancelled 45 minutes in advance.   The way I feel about it, is that unless someone was dying, in an accident or there was a work emergency there is really no reason why he couldn’t hang up the phone and meet me.  Sometimes I just don't understand men.  I don't know what I'll say to him if he shows up at another event.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Playing catch up

I'm sure you've noticed that there is a big gap between 2010 and the present.  I have notes on all of the entries that I want to write and they are coming as fast as I can write them.  Thanks for reading!